Tuesday, Mar. 07, 2006
Life is just great
Life is just great.
I have just been told by my dad that I am a disappointment to him. I already know that my family are embarrassed of me doing nursing. Everybody is expecting me to do something great with my life just because one horrible day in college which haunts me forever, I went with the crowd and decided that I wanted to be a doctor just because the A-Levels I chose enabled me to make that decision.
A while ago my sister said to me that when people used to ask her what degree I did in uni they were impressed because I did medicine, and now she says she doesn’t want to say I do nursing. My Dad says I’m taking my “free” education for granted because I keep reconsidering what I want to do after this degree, first it was a post grad medical degree, then a Masters in Healthcare, then specialise in a particular nursing field and now Social Work. He literally counted everything off. I now know that I can never talk to him about my fleeting thoughts EVER. He does not understand that I am finding ALL of this so hard, he kept telling me about people who are working day and night just so they can get the education I get for free or so they can send their children abroad to study decent degrees such as this guy who sent his daughter to Russia where she learnt the language and did a degree in medicine (in Russian) I thought I had it hard, she had to learn and degree in a language completely foreign to her.
I have no idea what I am struggling with, I don’t know what it is that is holding me back from achieving what I want to achieve. My parents want greatness for me and I just can’t imagine myself doing anything today let alone 10 years from now. I have this inkling that I am leaning towards doing a post grad med degree again. I have no idea of the long and tough road that lies ahead of me. At the end of my chastising he said to me that he was just giving me advice and at the end of the day it is my choice and I can choose to do whatever it is I wish to do with my life. (he had a horrible look on his face when he said it though)
dahab at 19:49